Question of the Week - 10/25/09

Hey all!

This questions can be a touchy one and will require a great deal of semantically sensitive finesse.  Enjoy and I look forward to hearing your responses!

It's evident by reading the bible that miracles are real.  Also, knowing that God doesn't change we must believe that they can and do continue to happen today.  We also believe that God is compassionate, loving, and no respecter of persons.

Here is a hypothetical scenario.  Let's say a guy named Bill has cancer and is on his death bed.  After praying for healing, and God miraculously heals him - no signs of cancer at all.

Now, let's pretend that that Bill's wife also is diagnosed with cancer, but despite all of the prayer meetings, fasting and faith, she is not healed and passes away.

How do we respond to the person that is praying to be healed, or praying for a miracle, but it doesn't happen?  How do we answer someone who asks us why God chose not to heal them?

Careful!  Don't give a cliche answer on this one!  Cliche answers spoken to someone who has gone through something like this are often extremely insensitive and condescending.  Put some thought into it.

Love ya!

Comments

[Teresa Yoakum]

Here we see a person who has previously received a miracle. We can remind him that through that miracle, God has revealed himself and therefore has earned his praise for that. We should remind the mourner that God's greatest gift is salvation and encourage him to pray to receive salvation if he has not already received the Holy Spirit who comforts (2 Corinthians 1:3)and gives wisdom (James 1:5) We should remind him that there are no disappointments in eternity. God promises that for those who enter heaven, God will wipe away every tear and there will be no more death, sorrow or pain. (Rev 21:4)

[Krystal Schoch]

This is a hard question because it would be very easy to be cliché and quote scripture. (That sounded bad. I don’t mean it bad.. you’ll see what I mean) We could look at the person and say, “God’s ways are higher than ours. The good Lord gives and the good Lord takes away, ect, ect.” But… what would that really achieve? Make the person mad at God? Totally close the person off from listening to anything else you have to say?

I like to envision what this situation would like, picture it my mind. Picture this: We are at the funeral of Bill’s wife. He is sitting in the pew with his head in his hands. Suddenly he looks over at us and with tears streaming down his face and he says, “I just don’t understand. She was such a good person. Why her and not me? Everybody loved her. Her children, her coworkers. She brought so much joy. Why HER and not ME?”

At this point our hearts are braking because we are wondering the same thing… why? It’s in God’s ability to heal. We saw that point proven. We may be fighting back the thought that immediately sneaks in.. the thought that maybe it would have been easier for God to heal neither one than to heal one without the other. So we look back at him, grab his hand and say, “I don’t know. Bill, I don’t know why God healed you and not your wife. I don’t know why some people live to be a hundred and some people die at 18. But I do know this. God loves you AND your wife more than we can ever comprehend. God loves people so much. He loves you”

Side note: it would depend on the person I was talking to on what else I would say. If they are save or unsaved, if the wife was saved or unsaved, if I can tell they want to hear more or aren’t up for hearing more at that time. Discernment has to kick in during these situations.

I think in these situations we have to let go of head knowledge a little.. Because who can truly KNOW the answer to that question? This is a time when listening and compassion need to kick in. Taking time to listen and remembering the things about God we do know… remembering that He is a God of love. Praying to God to reveal his peace and love on the person. Never discount the effect that the peace of God will bring… let the Holt Spirit have some wiggle room. Offer to pray with the person.. go ahead and cry with them. Jesus wept too. Keep praying for Bill and keep yourself available to talk.

See people, empathize with them. Take the time to listen. If they ask a question you don’t know the answer too it’s ok to say “I don’t know, but I’ll look into that.” As Tim said DON’T give cliché answers. Be authentic. Share your pain and how God comforted you. Now I’m getting off topic…

Remember what we are here to do. Isaih 61:1- says it beautifully, “ He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives.”

[Sarah]

Who are we to assume that because Bill's wife died that she wasn't healed? For Christians, isn't death the greatest healing there is?

My grandfather passed away in 2007 after a 7 year battle with cancer. He had many people praying for his healing, he believed he would be healed, my grandmother believed he would be healed... yet the cancer took over his body and he couldn't fight it anymore. Some would look at that situation and say God didn't heal him... but my family sees how God DID heal him (through the cancer!) and helped him forgive people he had held grudges against for 40-50 years! God healed deep wounds in his heart and gave my grandparents a beautiful relationship (especially in the last 6-8 months of his life). After he died, we knew he was cancer free! It wasn't easy to watch him suffer for 7 years, but I learned quite a bit from watching him - and the situation brought me (and my family) closer to God.

Death and sickness are tough subjects to talk about, and like Krystal said, we have to be discerning and Spirit led in what we say and do. After my grandfather died, another one of my friends passed away almost exactly 1 month later. I had many "well-meaning" Christians come up and try to explain God's actions through the situations. It didn't work. I usually ended up getting really mad at them and wanted to through most of them off a tall tall building. (I didn't). From my experience, the best thing to do is to not try and explain God's actions unless you are 200% sure that He is telling you to tell the grieving person a message from Him. Rather, pray for comfort and a greater personal understanding of God, that He would be more real to them and that He would help them grieve in a way that honors Him.

Bottom line: God doesn't fit in a box, and because healing is of God, it doesn't fit in a box either. Everything that God does is for good, but because of our limitedness in, basically everything, we only see in part. We just have to trust God and that He knows what He's doing. Sometimes God's blessings may look like a curse in the physical realm... and that is a tough pill to swallow!